Friday, May 8, 2009

An Open Letter to Andy Stern...

Charlie Ridgell has once again put pen to paper, and has provided us with an Open Letter of support to Our Glorious Maximum Leader...

Dear Andy Stern,

No doubt, fearless leader, you have heard the loud voices of the hundreds of thousands of SEIU members, and even many SEIU leaders, who believe your activities as SEIU president and your leadership of SEIU are hypocritical, corrupt, anti-democratic, anti-worker, a threat to EFCA and, ultimately, a danger to the survival of the labor movement.

Many even say you should step aside and resign - for the sake of SEIU.

Fools they are! And all those mean websites! I know it’s free speech but it’s outrageous!

I am not sure if I am qualified to judge whether they are right about your activities and your leadership of the union. I believe that as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, noon and night, and feel good about yourself, and your pink scarf shelters you from the cold and damp, the rest of that stuff is between you and your noble conscience. We must all see things as they really are: You are the man; it’s your thing.

But as sure as you love purple, I am sure of one thing:

Andy, please, please pay no attention to those who say you should resign!

What do they know that you haven’t taught them? Fools!

Don’t they realize that it’s your preordained destiny to unite the working class of the whole world into One Mighty Purple Union Partnering With Global Capital under your inspired and infallible leadership?

Why, if it weren’t for your all encompassing vision, your selfless dedication, your strategic genius, your diplomatic skills and your utmost integrity, the working class of our fragile planet would be crushed, ground into the soil by the hard boots of merciless global profiteers! You are humanity’s last, best hope. If not you, then who can save us?

Stand your ground Andy! You must remain SEIU Leader at all costs, by any means necessary, no matter what happens! Don’t let your many detractors drive you from your rightful place or prevent you from meeting your destiny!

Stand by the courage of your convictions – no pun intended.

Hang in there till the end, no matter how bitter!

I am depending on you to do the right thing here, Andy!

Don’t let me down, like Nixon!

Andy, look at me when I’m talking to you!

Andy, stay with me, bro!

In awe and admiration,

Your loyal pal,

Charlie Ridgell

Well stated, sir!

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